Swedish Girls
by Dogfancy
Summary: Denmark was totally jealous. Rated T for inappropriate language. Implied SuFin if you squint and turn your head a little bit.


If Sweden was an emotional kind of person, he believed that Denmark would have been stripped to nothing but his underwear and thrown to an aggressive mob of hungry Russians. As a matter of fact, if he was emotional, this might have happened long before this time, but that was beside the point. "God _damn_, you're such a selfish bastard," the offending nation cried out, hunched over a laptop and, for some mysterious reason, sitting on Berwald's previously sterile countertop. He'd have to disinfect it now that Den's _germs_ had gotten all over it.

But he had pushed that thought to the side for now, as his temper seemed to fluctuate for a moment while the inner Viking whispered sweet-nothings into his ear. "D'no what y'r talking 'bout." He almost added 'now go away, I'm busy', but his curiosity had gotten the best of him. Denmark gave an exasperated groan, throwing his head back and aiming his frustrations at the ceiling in an almost familiar childishness that he had yet to grow out of. "Come _on!_ Look, look at this!" He violently poked his finger at the glowing computer screen, rapidly tapping at it impatiently.

Sweden glanced over to see a photo bunch of busty blond girls wearing shirts a few sizes too small, the design being his own flag, to which he only shrugged and turned back to the stew roasting on the stove. "So?" he asked, prodding at a chunk of meat with a fork. There was a hot glare burning a hole in his back, followed by a pregnant pause. Denmark threw his arms back to cradle his head as he leaned back against the wall, legs crossed to support the laptop balancing dangerously on his knees. "You have all the hot girls and you decide to be all gay and stuff." His eye twitched in just the slightest and were probably the only signs of anger that could be visibly seen on his normally stoic expression. Den tsk'd, adding, "I can't believe you'd hog them all to yourself when you don't even use it."

The Swede looked over his shoulder for a moment to see the other staring longingly into his computer, an eyebrow raising as he examined the photo closely, a finger gliding over the mouse pad as he flipped through different pictures, settling on a photo of a couple more blonds in bikinis doing that silly hump-train thing. He never understood what was so attractive about that… They stood in silence until Sweden finally grunted, "Take 'm if y'want." He gestured a hand toward the door, "G'on, s'not like I'm g'nna stop ya."

Denmark shook his head and leaned forward, squaring his shoulders and gripping his knees. A pout formed on his lips and he whined, "Go~d! You're so mean, and after all I've done for you!"  
"Y'didn't do 'nything f'r me." A nasty smirk drew across the Dane's his face. "That's not the point. I mean, seriously, why don't you just go nail some if you have the chance?" There were many reasons, the number one reason being Finland, but that was more of an excuse than a reason. He mulled this over for a moment (Good God why was he thinking about this) before mumbling, "D'ya th'nk y'r people 're y'r childr'n?" Denmark nodded enthusiastically, letting a toothy smile grace his feature, "Of course I do!" Berwald turned to face Den. "Th'nk 'bout it. 'F I 'nail th'm'," he raised his hands and exaggerated the quotation marks with his fingers, "… won' tha' be incest?"

The look that Denmark gave him was laughable, it was a look of pure horror mixed with a sprinkle of realization. He pointed an accusing finger at Sweden and laughed, "Dude! That'd make you a pedophile too!" It didn't make sense to him at all, but if that's what the Dane wanted to believe… "Shit, this just means that you produce some sexy children. No wonder Tino wants your genes!" Before the Swede could protest, he shouted out, "_In bed!_" His patience ran out at that very moment and, before kicking Denmark out, he blantly punched him square in the cheek.

* * *

**A/N**: Jesus Christ! Out of curiosity, I went on Google images and typed in "Swedish" just to get a bunch of pictures of very beautiful, blond girls in very compromising positions and tight clothes. Seriously, try it, that's almost all you're gonna get. I couldn't help but wonder if Denmark would get all jealous and stuff, since HK has vaguely confirmed that Sweden was gay (only for Finland though, ain't that just adorable?). Ayup, that's where this came from.

Before anyone asks, I do actually think that each of the countries regard their people as children. Russia has said that before, right? In the Bloody Sunday strip I believe. It makes sense, doesn't it? They want the best for their people, but what would the point be if they were just _people?_ Think about it, you would go to the hospital if your child was in a car accident, but if you heard about a different child in a car accident on the news, you wouldn't visit the hospital for them. I could totally see them getting more motivation from making their citizens their children.  
Let's just hope that Poland doesn't like to dress-up or have tea parties with his "children".


End file.
